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Joke of the Day

"Ew, I bet people who call people hipsters as an insult don't even have a favorite kombucha flavor"

"It's stupid that ""girl"" and ""world"" are rhymed together so much in songs when ""squirrel"" is right there for the taking."

"A can crushers job must be... Soda pressing."

"Did you hear about the writer who brought peace to the Middle East? He had a way with Kurds."

"Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free but underneath it's covered with rust Dealer: Yes sir. The car is rust-free. We didn't charge you for it did we?"

"Why are none of my jokes funny? Because I have a shitty sense of humor."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him."

"What is the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple generally waits until you are a teenager before it comes on your face."

"My Father was never proud of me One day he asked me, ""how old are you."" I said, ""I'm five"" he said,""when I was your age, I was six"""

"Movie critics have said some negative things about the new movie Jobs... I guess Ashton Kutcher didn't do a good Jobs."