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Joke of the Day

"What do pedophiles and McDonalds have in common? They are both bad for kids, but *I'm lovin it!*"

"A woman lost her wedding ring in Paris last night. I'm not talking about the one who deserved it."

"What did the gay cow say just before sex? STICK IT IN MY ANGUS"

"1998: - Don't get in strangers' cars - Don't meet ppl from internet 2016: - Literally summon strangers from internet to get in their car"

"Never bring a dildo to a knife fight."

"So called ""Trader"" Joe's wouldn't let me pay with furs or rum or even live birds."

"Did you hear about WHO's new report about processed foods causing cancer? Who?"

"shipwreck diary day 425: saw a ship and crew waved but didn't want to look dumb and wave back if they were waving to someone behind me"

"Not paying more than $2,000 a kilo. And can we stop communicating through Twitter? I feel like these DM's are going to go public someday."

"What did Holly Holm say to Ronda Rousey's date to the Marine Corps Ball? I hit that."