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Joke of the Day

"How frustrating would it be if you turned into a zombie before you had a chance to put your dentures in?"

"Him: You drank all that Coke? Me: Well, with my rum.. Him: ... Me: ... Me: How many beers did you have today? Him: Good talk, honey."

"Well, at least I didn't kill a lion! - Bill Cosby"

"My wife saw an ad in a window Which said ""tampons 50cents"" Is that true, she asked the shopkeeper... Very true, he said....""no strings attached"""

"A man wanks into a bar... ...and the bartender says ""We don't serve your typo here"""

"Me: you like that? *takes out trash* Wife: ooooh Me *starts vacuuming the living room* Wife: oh my god, don't stop"

"To err is human; to moo bovine."

"I like my coffee like I like my girlfriend Not fucking my best friend STACY YOU WHORE!"

"My new girlfriend just found out that I'm 42. She said, ""You told me that you were 28 and a half!"" I said, ""I am if you think about it."""

"You couldn't kill Sean Bean if he was wearing a red shirt."