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Joke of the Day

"Joke How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag? Answer: you take the S out of Safe and the F out of way."

"TIL that Charlie Sheen got HIV after doing Two and a Half Men."

"A pirate walks into a bar... He has a ship's wheel right on his crotch. The bartender asks: ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate reply's: ""ARRRRRGH, It's drivin' me nuts!"""

"There are 10 types of people... too highbrow? There are 10 types of people... those who know binary, those who don't and those who understand off-by-one errors."

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was inventing single-ply toilet paper."

"Theoretically, you can't really complain if there's a pubic hair on your everything bagel."

"Remember when America used to be cool... .... Yeah, me neither."

"Why don't cows smoke weed? The steaks would just be too high."

"Wife: ""they're disgusting, they carry diseases, they eat garbage!"" Me: are we talking about your parents, raccoons, or the kids?"

"A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi A Catholic priest and a Rabbi were walking along when they saw a young boy. The Priest said to the Rabbi: ""We should fuck him."" The Rabbi replied: ""Out of what?"""