103100

Joke of the Day

"???: Knock knock. James: Who's there? ???: You know. James: You know who? Voldemort: Correct. James Potter: James Potter: Fuck."

"Every rooster is a dick."

"Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead."

"Hey Chandler, wanna hang out with me, Phoebe and Monica later? We're going to the park to open and close umbrellas in a fountain."

"When I'm bored, I like to hold wedding ceremonies for my kitchen utensils. ""I now pronounce you pan and knife."""

"i have been told spending the night in this haunted house will grant me immunity from being pranked or fooled on the april fool day"

"Why are lawyers always buried 15 feet deep? Because deep down they're good people."

"I'm trying to ignore the subway mariachi band that's ruining my commute, but I should have refused to carpool with them in the first place."

"I've been a right-leaning man for most of my life Fuck scoliosis."

"How did Jamie find Cersei in the long grass? Satisfying."