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Joke of the Day

"I had to take my son's dirty diaper off today. I don't know why I was wearing it in the first place."

"Girls who say, ""a lot of guys are after me"", should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers."

"What does a cannibalistic homosexual sailor eat? Semen."

"What do you call your friend from Prague who beat you at chess? Your Czech mate"

"Just killed a cricket at work, and, long story short, I'm now being asked to audition for Riverdance."

"How many possibilities does a man with no arms and legs have? Limbitless"

"I've really got to stop being so anti-semitic... or else I'm going to get audited soon"

"A man walks into a bar and says... ""Argh, fuck!"""

"I was surprised Oscar Pistorius owned a gun in the first place. I would have thought he preferred blades."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It can't come to you anyway."