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Joke of the Day

"Today I decided to burn some calories.. So I lit a fat kid on fire."

"What do you call a jerking off well-endowed midget? A huge short coming."

"It's really hard to explain that your eyes are really red from allergies and not weed when you're buying cupcakes and a pound of Doritos."

"What's the definition of a 68? That's when you blow me and I owe you 1."

"What's the best part of having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and imaging you are poking through Old guy at work told me that hahaha"

"Last night I dreamt that I wrote 'Lord of the Rings'. I realized I was just Tolkien in my sleep..."

"Ironically I'm watching an exercise infomercial because I'm too lazy to get the remote."

"What do you call a Spanish cucumber ? A cuke-hombre..."

"Whats the difference between a prostitute and a crack dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and use it again and again."

"just saw a church sign that says, ""santa claus never died for anyone."" and i'm like, ""okay well jesus never brought me a barbie dreamhouse."""