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Joke of the Day

"GENIE: you have found my lamp, so I must grant you four wishes ME: I thought it was three? GENIE: You need four"

"Wheelchair athletes have just been banned from the Paralympics They tested positive for WD40"

"I was thinking of inventing some chilli flavoured sun cream. But for now I've put it on the back burner."

"Two consonants and a vowel go into a bar..."

"When I got depressed, I joined the Army. I didn't have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on."

"Whats the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew Harry made it out of the chamber"

"Two cleaners had a massive fight in my office earlier. Hell of a dust up."

"how tall is bruno mars?"

"If my inlaws break a bylaw, does it make them outlaws? Would any lawyer be in a preposition to answer this one for me?"

"What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer."