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Joke of the Day

"The next batch of women who get plastic surgery Will have a stamp on their paperwork that shows they made with 33% recycled Joan Rivers."

"How do you pick up women in Auschwitz? With a broom & dustpan."

"some guy said that I slur a lot when I'm drunk I said no I don't you stupid nigger"

"I like my women like my heroin Smuggled in a tiny box from South East Asia"

"Me: Can I dip my breadstick in your Alfredo sauce? Him: Usually it's me asking you that. 13YO: SHUT UP. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

"Where do you weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow."

"Having sex is like playing an instrument. When you do it right, you'll start hearing noises."

"You're right, vegetarian. Meat IS murder. ...and I'm sure no bunnies, squirrels or mice died during the harvesting of your garden salad."

"I finally figured out why i look so bad in pictures It's my face"

"At least my parents April fools joke wasn't a child. /u/ChodeologyPHD came up with this."