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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like my heroin Smuggled in a tiny box from South East Asia"

"Did you hear what the Kathmandu? He Baghdad so he could Bangkok"

"I disagree with liquor store hours. It's 8am..let me in."

"I wanna get HAMMERED tonight. Seriously? Yeah, drunk as hell, bro. Riiight. Of course, of course. *quietly slides hammer back into sleeve*"

"You can just lean against anything, look down at your phone and toggle between your 1st and 2nd page of apps and you'll look pretty popular."

"You shouldn't commit any crimes after you marry someone. Why? Because you have a mother in law."

"What did the football fan say to the paedophile footballer? Come on my son."

"How does Popeye lube up his dick? Sticks it in Olive Oyl."

"What's similar between Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd? Both of their last big hits were the wall."

"I have a severe allergy to alcohol Whenever I drink it I breakout in handcuffs."