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Joke of the Day

"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? It would have been called a teeth brush anywhere else."

"A lot of you are calling me ""mom"" lately. Is it cause I'm old? Or cause you respect me? I hope for your sake it's cause I'm old."

"'I want to see other kids.' ~Me, parenting."

"A whale performs a La Roux cover...... ""Mmmmmmmmmm.......I'm goin' in for the krill"""

"I'm glad I found out it's illegal to destroy US currency. I was about to feed $50 bills through a shredder."

"This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around. I was a dictator."

"I invented a new word: *Zygorepostalgia* It's the feeling you get when you see the same joke reposted more than once in the same day and realize it wasn't funny the first time either."

"What's better than having a garbanzo bean on your face? Having a chickpea on your face."

"Roses are red... Valentine's Day is Crap! I don't have a girlfriend so FAP FAP FAP!"

"Melania Trump says her husband is ""not Hitler."" That's true. Hitler had a mustache and adult-sized hands."