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Joke of the Day

"I don't know what disturbs me more about my attraction towards my girlfriends mother. The fact that she's 51 or the fact that she's also my mother."

"Asked my 65yo mom what she'd like for Christmas and she said ""Surprise me"". Hope she likes her new pet python."

"Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake."

"Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft."

"Having sex on when your so is on her period isn't funny. You guys are just bloody dickheads."

"I gave some Adderall to my Ford Fiesta... it's now a Ford Focus."

"The thing you don't know about soy milk is... It's really just introducing itself in Spanish. ""Soy milk"""

"My friend said he's going to a fancy dress party as a small Italian island..... I said don't be so silly."

"My ex-wife still misses me... ...but her aim is getting better!"

"Q: How does Hitler tie his shoes? A: With little Nazis."