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Joke of the Day

"train me. no. train me. okay. training montage. the big fight. i'm glad you trained me. i'm glad i trained you. #everyboxingmovie"

"I have created a subreddit dedicated to all times that OP doesn't deliver The link is in the comments"

"Why was Yoda afraid of seven? Because six, seven eight."

"I feel a bit overdressed here at WalMart because my pajamas match."

"There is one thing that can turn a guy into a perfect chick-magnet. It's when he finds himself a girlfriend."

"Got drunk and did my taxes, i am getting back 1 zillion dollars, 2 slaves, and somehow the state of Rhode Island, this can't be right."

"I just fucked up instant oatmeal like some kind of husband in a commercial."

"The teacher asked the class if everyone got the syllabus. Jimmy raised his hand and said, ""No, I took the boring short bus to school."""

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. Hey it could happen!"

"Your honor, if you watch the tape in reverse you can clearly see the officer planting the evidence in my vehicle."