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Joke of the Day

"I hate Ancient Greek History! Fuck the poleis!"

"I am a proud member of Grammar Nazi... And your not."

"What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? NA'CHO CHEESE"

"Even if they all unite against Trump, those seven countries won't get off the list A seven nation army couldn't hold Trump back."

"The school year is like a burrito... After 3 quarters you're full but you have to keep going even though it's all falling apart."

"How I Want To Die I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the four other passengers in his car."

"How to build a nested list 1) Start like this A) Then do this Bird: I live here now 2) Make sure to get the bird out Bird: NO"

"Did you hear about that guy who had the entire left half of his body chopped off? He's dead now."

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger's now working in pest control... He's an ex-terminator."