31998
Joke of the Day
"if I was ever in prison I'd quickly assert dominance by giving everyone a fabulous makeover"
Next Joke
"This season of Game of Thrones set new records for Piracy Probably because it's written by George Arrrrr Arrrrr Martin"
"On your first day in the hospital kick the ass of the sickest motherfucker in there"
"Knock knock Who's there? Allah. Allah who? Allah who akbar!"
"By DAY he's just a regular accountant. But at NIGHT he becomes a trash ravaging raccoon... ""Raccountant"".. Coming this fall on Fox"
"Why is it hard for men to understand women? Because you have to study abroad to understand them."
"Smile is the only curved line that can make everything straight "
"[movie theater] Her: *Hands me popcorn bag* Can you put this down? Me: *grabs bag* You stupid, overpriced, salty piece of shit!"
"The punchline might tie in perfectly with the joke... or it might knot."
"My dog crosses her paws regally while lying on the floor, like she didn't just eat the contents of the bathroom trash can."