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Joke of the Day

"I could be happily married to some dude for 50 year an id still be textin ma pals like ""omg do u think he likes me???"""

"Why didn't Johnny go to the 7 A.M. funeral? Because he just isn't a mourning person."

"In college, I liked beer more than Girls. A beer can't change its mind after you get its top off. Edit: Thanks, grammar Nazis"

"The trouble with having an Asian fetish AND a foot fetish... You're bound to get off on the Wong foot."

"Haven't seen any Harambe memes for a while, I suppose this means Harambe is dead.."

"Why are there so many piggy banks? Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress."

"I just lost my virginity! And so did my 6-year old sister."

"It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy."

"Yo mama so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her 10 years to live."

"My ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish... She would dress like herself and act like a fucking bitch all the time."