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Joke of the Day
"He who goes to sleep face down... Crack up."
Next Joke
"What kind of seagull flies over a bay? A Bay-gull"
"start out every morning with positive thoughts then put them in a pile and light them on fire to speed shit up"
"Guess what Chicken butt"
"7:55 pm: Pours Diet Coke over fries to prevent self from eating them. 8:03 pm: Eats soggy Diet Coke fries."
"I got the most classic, timeless Christmas present this year A broken watch"
"Think you can save humanity? Well, Jesus nailed it."
"Where do college students go for medical attention? An I.V. League."
"PMS: I'm sorry. ME: Why? It's a good day. PMS: Wait for it. ME: [2 secs later] DID MY PARENTS REALLY TAKE MY DOG TO A FARM WHEN I WAS 5?!"
"I've been trying to explain asymptotes to my friends... They're getting closer every time."