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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins are in the oven. . . One turns to the other and says ""its a bit hot in here"", the other screams ""ahhh! a talking muffin"""

"What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson? ""Etude, Brute?"""

"Some fairy tales start with ""once upon a time"". Others start with ""If I won the elections""."

"Dear Middle Finger, Thanks for always sticking up for me."

"Why did Karl Marx hate Earl Grey? Because all proper tea is theft."

"One I just heard. Part of me says ""I can't keep drinking like this."" The other part of me says ""Don't listen to that guy. He's drunk."""

"Prince: Rapunzel, let down your hair. Rapunzel: Hair, you'll never be beautiful, you'll always have split ends. *hair is super let down*"

"My body is like a Greek statue. Even if the staff at the museum don't think so."

"Sometimes therapy is as simple as nodding to the dude next to you stuck in traffic. I feel you brother."

"Life is like a dry handjob. Sometimes its painful sometimes its enjoyable most of the time its hard but mostly your just happy it keeps goin"