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Joke of the Day

"Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!"

"From where did the sperm whale get it's name? Ask your grandparents."

"The fact that Mitt Romney opted to see Twilight instead of Lincoln this weekend probably sums up what his presidency would've been like."

"Where I am from, if I was ""16 And Pregnant"" I'd get an ass beating not a TV show."

"Who are a fat person's two best friends Ben and Jerry."

"My New Year's resolution is *removes sunglasses* 2048x1080. I'll explain. *perches on desk* You see, the word 'resolution' can also refer t"

"Woman bus drivers When I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we as a society have come in equality. And then I wait for the next bus..."

"Whats the difference between Hospitality and Business? One will help you and the other will help you be an asshole"

"Helium walks into a bar The bartender says ""sorry we don't serve noble gases here."" The helium did not react"

"What is a mushrooms favorite type of music? Hyphae"