195812

Joke of the Day

"My New Year's resolution is *removes sunglasses* 2048x1080. I'll explain. *perches on desk* You see, the word 'resolution' can also refer t"

"sometimes when I finish eating a bag of microwave popcorn I try to eat a couple unpopped kernels just to convince myself it's really over"

"The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad. And you said id never amount to anything"

"Today, I made the little things count by teaching math to midgets....."

"Life's a bitch, Because if it was a slut, It would be easy."

"Most black 15-year-olds are decent law-abiding citizens. It's their kids that cause all the trouble."

"""That dress fits you like a glove"" ""It sticks out in five places"""

"After Dante was Iced He went to the ""Inferno"" cause it was warm :P"

"Why do people want attention of 1000 pies? because it's their sen-pais~"

"If you were to second guess your decision to stay at a hotel on a native american reserve... ....that would be a reservation reservation reservation -credit to Brian Regan"