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Joke of the Day

"There are only two types of guys that don't masturbate Those with no hands and those with no dick"

"Despite the contradictory advice circulated in the late '90s, if you wanna be my lover, please do not get with my friends."

"Why dont feminists go to indoor soccer games... Because, with the astroturf, there would be no place for them to graze."

"They say tragedy plus time equals comedy... but I just don't think my wife Debra farting herself to death in 2011 will ever be funny to me"

"I like my women like I like my beer. . . . . . cold, pale and without a head."

"My money is on MySpace to take the Gold in the Downhill Competition."

"Honesty is the best policy, but I also recommend a lot of life insurance."

"Michael Jackson had alot of good songs... But his best ones were when he was in A Minor"

"They agree I'm funny I started my new job at the retirement center today. Told the residents that I'm a really funny guy. They didn't understand any of my jokes but they still pissed themselves."

"What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists? The Que Que Que?"