102423

Joke of the Day

"My friend uses 'supossebly' and I never correct her. I like her irregardless."

"I should have noticed that my son, a railroad worker is stealing from his workplace But each time he came home I just ignored the signs"

"""All you need is love."" -billionaire musicians"

"Why shouldn't you invite a duck to go out drinking? Because it would be a party fowl."

"Fellas, If you kill a spider while you're at her place, congratulations. You will be having sex. P.S. Bring a spider."

"A girl asked me if I was into anal sex... I said I've never tried it, but I figure it'd be fucking shit."

"Overheard: ""Why is this guy listening to our conversation?"""

"Am sorry boss, I know I said I'd do that report this morning. But the girl next to me on the train was wearing a short skirt, & I forgot I even had a job."

"How do they call women that don't suck dick? They don't call them at all."

"*bark* ""What's that Lassie?"" *bark bark* ""Timmy's stuck in a loveless marriage with an overly critical wife?"" *bark* ""Ooh, dinnertime."""