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Joke of the Day
"My doctor diagnosed me with severe lack of observation. That came out of nowhere."
Next Joke
"What is hot and makes me hard? Being covered in lava."
"How many dub-step artists does it take to clean a bathtub? 100\. One to actually clean it, and 99 to talk about how dirty it is."
"How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men"
"Did you hear that Tote's have brought out a line of spherical candies of suprisingly high quality? They're totes amazeballs."
"Women on their period always ovary act. *insert pun here*"
"My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals. Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs."
"What do you call it when you have sex with a dwarf who has gender dysmorphia? micro trans action"
"Why does Helium go up? Because the floors Argon."
"A grasshopper walks into a bar And the bartender says ""I have a shot named after you"" The grasshopper replies ""you have a shot named Steve?!"" My bartender friend told me this, thought I should share"