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Joke of the Day

"Hollywood should remake ""Freaky Friday"" between a priest and a scientist. The Title should be ""Converting the Masses"""

"What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year? Patty O'Furniture"

"It's hard to sleep with all the girls knocking on my door at night. I eventually had to let them out."

"I'm in a very serious relationship with Batman. My beloved Baeman."

"Abortions occur when the Stork is flying over a ravine, gets tired of carrying things and says ""Fuck this."""

"What did the fish say when it ran into the wall? DAM! (airplane stewardess told me and had me on ground laughing)"

"Take me to a bar on an empty stomach and see how quickly I can become much more entertaining than the entire cast of Jersey Shore."

"My dream job? That's easy: Be one of those Muppets that sit up in balcony making fun of everyone. That's Old School Twitter."

"How short-sighted of you to include a fax number in your email signature but not the coordinates of your zeppelin dock."

"My boyfriend said this when he was high: ""Who founded the KKK?"" ""Forrest Gump, because it's fuckin retarded."" Edit: NSFW"