102290

Joke of the Day

"As told to me by my dad who smokes a lot Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas? Clothes but no cigar."

"Did you hear about the terrorist attack in France last night? The police say the guy was not motivated, but other than that, all they know is that he wasn't very Nice"

"""That's what."" -She"

"Bored, so I'm going to find a kid that looks like me and tell her I'm her from the future."

"Why are people leaving the Ukraine? I don't know but they sure are Russian."

"Slow down in those corduroy pants. You'll ignite a bush fire."

"*Interviewing for waiter position* I feel like I bring a lot to the table"

"Why are fire trucks always red? You'd turn red if someone pulled on your hose wouldn't you?"

"Senate Republicans cancelled the vote on abortion restrictions. Does this mean they're going to try Plan B?"

"How do you comfort a grammar Nazi? There,They're,Their . . ."