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Joke of the Day

"The first person to milk a cow probably saw a baby cow nursing and was like oh yeah people do that too and I have no food I don't wanna die"

"From John bishops only joking Did you hear about the local blender company? They went into liquidation"

"""Every dog has his day,"" they used to say. Still, no one was quite prepared that morning Emperor Mister Pickles marched his army into town."

"A Muslim extremist, a Democrat, and Hillary supporter walk into a bar.... 49 people die, 53 more are injured"

"Did you hear about the band the hipster liked? No, no you didn't."

"What kind of cheese do metalheads eat? BRIEEEEEEEEEEEE. I hate myself"

"I'm sick and tired of the jokes on this sub, so I'm going to kill my foot. Yeah, that's right. I'm putting my foot down."

"My printer just woke from sleep mode with a huge toner."

"LPT: If you ever find yourself lost in the wild... ...simply misspell the SOS signal and some arsehole will show up within minutes to correct you."

"Michelin, Triangle Shirtwaist, and Brian Williams. ""Name a tire, a fire, and a liar."""