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Joke of the Day

"""Every dog has his day,"" they used to say. Still, no one was quite prepared that morning Emperor Mister Pickles marched his army into town."

"Philip Hughes joke 1 (warning: probably offensive to some) Did you hear Philip Hughes can't play a hook shot to save his life."

"I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at."

"When a guy tries to talk to me while at a urinal I instantly slide over and start pissing in his urinal too. See how friendly he really is"

"What's the difference between an onion and a prostitute? You only cry when you're cutting up one. Sorry if this is too 'dirty' a joke, just a change of pace I guess."

"What do you call two guys with no arms or legs hanging from a window? Curt and Rod"

"ME, TEXTING MY CRUSH: have any plans tonight? HER: no not yet!! i'm totally free and available ME: ok well have a good night whatever u do"

"Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere"

"*stands next to ATM and cheers every time someone wins money*"

"I am so hot my mother calls me sun."