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Joke of the Day
"Gets pulled over: "" it's because I can't see isn't it?!"""
Next Joke
"Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine."
"Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out."
"France beat the Germans 2-0 but the terrorists have them at like 50-3"
"who gives a shit about how many spiders you eat when you're asleep? I'm worried about how many are getting into the other holes"
"NEMESIS: i hate you ME: i hate me too. and the enemy of my enemy is my friend NEMESIS: so can you stay the night? ME: i'll ask my mom"
"My daughter told me I'm ""slightly prettier than Ben Franklin,"" so I have that going for me."
"How many first-time theater directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, what do you guys think?"
"What do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand? not enough sand."
"What cereal was removed from Tim Cook's breakfast? Apple Jacks"