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Joke of the Day

"Staying Positive Who needs anti depressants when you have a Van Der Graaf Generator"

"Jesus walked into a tavern and saw a man who could not walk. He said, ""FRIEND, HAVE YOU BEEN INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT AT WORK THAT WASN'T YOUR FAULT?!"""

"Why does the Coast Guard have ultraviolet lights? To help them find missing sea men."

"Why aren't redheads very good R&B singers? Because they have no soul"

"The baby's trying to eat the poinsettia again Well, maybe we should get rid of it The plant? But we just got it . . .Haha yeah, the plant"

"A sweet treat. I find my sex life is a lot like Nutella. Everyone loves it and has it all the time, and I'm just sitting in bed alone with a box of Ritz crackers."

"My girlfriend was really excited about sex but said we couldn't because she was on her period... .. I turned back and declared ""The only thing a period stops is a sentence."""

"*wear sunscreen* *go up to a guy named Ray and punch him in the nose* *now laugh because sunscreen protects you from ultra violent Rays*"

"Trump for President 2016 Right, guys?"

"I came home to my girlfriend packing her bags. What are you doing? -I'm leaving you. I heard you're a pedophile! That's a pretty big word for a seven year old."