173780

Joke of the Day

"3 women in a bar are comparing how loose they are... One claimed they could fit a sausage, another claimed they can fit a cucumber and the other slid down the bar stool."

"Never hold in a fart... they go to your head, and that's where shitty ideas come from."

"I'm not saying I hate you... but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."

"I like it when I open a document and my monitor says WORD and I'm like YO."

"""Damn you, Autocorrect!!!!"" - Mark Zuckerberg, who had intended to announce that he was giving away 99% of his socks"

"Why are gay guys bad at jenga? They don't worry about pulling out"

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall Dam"

"Remember, I'm not an idiot...I just play one on-OH CRAP I'M ON FIRE! GUYS, HELP! I'M ON FIRE AGAIN! Oh wait...this is just an orange shirt."

"A ninja's wife comes home to find her husband dead and exclaims... ...""no ninja no ninja no!"""

"How do you kill a hipster? You drown him in the mainstream."