101925

Joke of the Day

"Never trust atoms. They make up everything."

"When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my dad did not screaming in terror like the passengers in his cab."

"I'm at my quickest when I try to follow someone out of the bathroom so I don't have to touch the handle."

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniac [Wat](http://m.imgur.com/mSC9hv0)"

"What did the German policeman say to his nipples? You are under a vest!"

"What is the historical significance of Sir George Stokes? He was a seminal fluid dynamicist."

"I love people who don't take their sweet time pooping in a public bathroom. They take their shit seriously"

"A soviet joke Q: What doesn't buzz and doesn't fit up your ass? A: A soviet made anal buzzer."

"Me: WOW. Look at those legs! Her: Thank you. M: They'd look great around my neck! H: Hey! M: Wish I'd brought my saw. H: WHAT?!? M: Nothing."

"What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it."