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Joke of the Day

"I love people who don't take their sweet time pooping in a public bathroom. They take their shit seriously"

"Han solo vs Redditor Han: NEVER tell me the odds! Redditor: I don't even."

"Tampax needs to extend the string to 2ft so I can hang myself with it every month."

"What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best? Lap-top!"

"If your urine is clear, you're hydrated. If it's yellow, you're dehydrated. If it's white, you're shaking your dick too much."

"What did the monkeys say when they saw the Northern Lights? Ooooooh, aaaaaah..."

"College doesn't prepare you for holding in farts in the workplace."

"I planted some flowers, but they never grew. Should have seen it coming. The package did warn that they were pansies."

"How did the Italian chef break up with his girlfriend? ""Pasta la vista, baby."""

"What did the gentleman say to the doctor when he went to get his pus drained? Please! I in cyst!"