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Joke of the Day

"When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my dad did not screaming in terror like the passengers in his cab."

Next Joke
 
"What does a redneck say for foreplay? ""Brace yourself, Linda-Lou"""
"Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."" Helium doesn't react."
"911 what's the emergency? ""How do u unburn pizza?"" U burnt a pizza ""Yes"" I'll send a squad car ""Ok will they help?"" No ur under arrest"
"If only life could be like the movies!* *i.e., every time someone gets a nosebleed it means they'll be dead soon"
"Germans be like: Been there, Done that."
"What do you get if you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?"
"The problem with dieting is food."
"OC: after talking with my buddy, I thought of this. how do you know if some does crossfit? They''ll tell you."
"Ever heard of Black Jesus? I hear he's pretty hung."