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Joke of the Day

"I found a message in a bottle. It said: ""The girl at the end of the bar is a lot hotter than she was 2 hours ago."""

"I felt I was overcharged by a prostitute, so I cut off the end of her foot.... ... When I was finally arrested, they charged me with Grand Theft Whore Toe"

"Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $1.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless."

"Remember the first time offender who was into bdsm? It made him late for an appointment. His excuse? He got tied up in court."

"My college advisor asked me if I've ever been abroad Nope, I've been a man my whole life."

"what do you get when one rapper eats another? FOOD CHAINZZZ!!"

"In the Czech Republic abortions are known as cancelled Czechs"

"BRUCE JENNER CHANGE OVER WHEN BRUCE JENNER FINISHES HIS CHANGE OVER IN BECOMING A WOMAN, OUT OF CURIOSITY (WINK WINK) I'D LIKE TO SEE HOW BIG HIS ASS IS GOING TO BE"

"Twitter: ""Where people are openly Gay and secretly Republican"""

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't rape the sandwich before I eat it."