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Joke of the Day

"Court decision: ""I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair... ... What happens next will shock you"""

"Just convinced my Mom she won't get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn't see Teen Wolf first. Please play along."

"Top Rated Videos: OOps! Fail Blackflip .Hahaha Looser!!! http://streetpranks.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/funny-poor-boy-sweet-backflip-lollss.html"

"Drinking Coors is like sex in a canoe It's fucking close to water"

"100 ways to reach me: 1.) Text Me. 2.) Call Me. 2.) E-Mail. 3.) FB .... 98.) Homing Pigeon. 99.) Signal Flares. 100.) Voice Mail"

"Record breaking, visionary director Steven Spielberg: 'Wanna play a dull, killed off screen character?' Samuel L Jackson: 'Sure'"

"First rule of Thesaurus Club: You do not talk, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gab, or converse about Thesaurus Club."

"Why would you wrap masking tape around a 3 day old baby? So it doesn't burst when you fuck it."

"Babies are like new tattoos They are yours forever, but you should probably hold off posting pictures for a bit until they aren't raw and weird looking anymore."

"1) Jumped out of bed 2) Cooked breakfast 3) Ran 6 miles 4) Worked out 5) Started lying compulsively"