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Joke of the Day

"Just convinced my Mom she won't get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn't see Teen Wolf first. Please play along."

"I wanna die by getting stuck my lightning Shocking, I know."

"My nephew: ""Sometimes it gets puffy and I can't pee"" Me: ""Yeah, unfortunately when you get older it gets puffy and you can't think"""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was actually a double cross. He had to cross the road in order to gain the trust of the other side."

"Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational."

"For some reason I'm an extremely secretive person. Don't ask me why"

"""Titanic."" ""What??"" &nbsp; ""Sorry, that wasn't a very good icebreaker."""

"Moscow cops Did you hear the one about why Moscow cops patrol in threes? One who can read, one who can write, and another to keep an eye on the other two ""dangerous intellectuals""."

"Three old women are sitting on a porch. The first one says ""Oy."" The second one says ""Oy vey."" The third one says ""I thought we weren't going to talk about the children."""

"""Do you need help with your math homework Billy?"" ""Yeah I sure do Dad!"" ""Well you're shit out of luck"""