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Joke of the Day

"100 ways to reach me: 1.) Text Me. 2.) Call Me. 2.) E-Mail. 3.) FB .... 98.) Homing Pigeon. 99.) Signal Flares. 100.) Voice Mail"

"How do you make a dead baby float? Nail a piece of styrofoam to its head."

"What's the cheapest kind of meat? Deer balls. Because they are under a buck."

"I invented a new word: *Zygorepostalgia* It's the feeling you get when you see the same joke reposted more than once in the same day and realize it wasn't funny the first time either."

"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus Good thing he didn't see what mommy did after bedtime ..."

"What happens when you cross an American and a polar bear. Same as before, lazy and fat."

"Chinese couple climbs into bed She says, ""so what should we do tonight?"" He says, ""how about 69?"" She says, ""beef and broccoli? At this hour?"""

"We don't talk about the Duggar family in our house anymore. The subject is a bit too touchy."

"Did you hear Caitlyn Jenner got a new cat? It's a rottweiler."

"Justice Scalia Dead Following 30-Year Battle With Social Progress Onion EDIT: removed hyperlink"