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Joke of the Day

"The only way to protect ourselves from eagle attacks is of course MORE eagles. Fill our homes with these gentle, knife clawed birds of prey."

"Medical humour Q. What do you call a white blood cell with one leg? A. A limp-phocyte. (You're welcome)"

"yesterday, Judge Thompson issued the longest sentence in the Supreme Court's history, needless to say, it was run-on."

"Brazil - Germany Football Game Ok, I see Germany scored a touchdown and point after, but how the heck did Brazil get 1 point?"

"There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away."

"How do you make your dick look bigger? Take a picture of it in a 5 year old's hand"

"I can't believe my computer has the audacity to edit audio"

"Steps to getting into her pants: 1) Wait for her to fall asleep 2) Take her pants off 3) Put them on yourself 4) Find a top that matches"

"If intelligence runs in your family, I can only guess it tripped and fell before it got to you."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Agnes ! Agnes who ? Agnes & Topeka & the Santa Fe !"