101664

Joke of the Day

"Like it or not this joke is binary."

"They say god dosn't give people they can't handle. Except cancer."

"I'd sit on Ellen Pao's face... ... Just so I wouldn't have to look at it."

"whoops i accidentally spilled a whole pizza in my mouth"

"What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can both smell it but can't eat it."

"Nice try Jehovah's Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to come to my door."

"Cop: You look pretty beat up, how many attackers did you say there was? [flashback to me showing the cat my nunchuk skills] Me: Easily 10"

"My girlfriend and I were talking about pets, she said she'd like to get a manatee. I just laughed and said, ""Two sugars, please."""

"facebook is down where are we gonna keep all of our faces"

"Joke I just heard from a drunken asshole Man: why does your pussy taste like spinach Woman: because I just ate pop eyes"