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Joke of the Day

"My favorite sex position is the JFK. It's where I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""are you aware that there is a wheel in your pants?"" The pirate replies, ""AAARGGHH it's driving me nuts!"""

"Shampoo is much more marketable than it's original name, Shamshit."

"Life isn't about the moments that take our breath away. That's asthma. You're thinking of asthma."

"The company that makes the Opera browser have asked Sir Patrick Stewart to redesign their logo They want him to make its O."

"if ur getting chased by a bunch of drunk 90's kids just yell out ""in west Philadelphia born & raised"" then u got like 2 min to run"

"What do you call someone who tells you they've successfully broken the Law of Excluded Middle? **WRONG.** ^... ^or ^^right, ^^^or ^^^^something ^^^^^in ^^^^^^between."

"Chuck Norris went down to the crossroads just to pimp-slap the devil."

"People who change the channel every time there's a commercial are more annoying than commercials."

"Playing guess the animal with 4yo. 4: it looks like a tiger. Me: a lion? 4: no. Me: leopard? 4: no. Me: i give up 4: it's a tiger"