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Joke of the Day

"My favorite sex position is the JFK. It's where I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"We named our beautiful daughter after my mother. Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 22 this year!"

"Unappreciated diet tip: If you want to lose a significant amount of weight, it's important to start out really fat."

"All the doctors at this hospital must have gone to This-Piece-Of-Medical-Equipment-Is-Not-A-Toy University and majored in ""boring""."

"Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Japanese guys jumped out and yelled ""supplies!"""

"I've probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator"

"I got my first ejaculation today... I did not see that comming..."

"One time my teacher was telling a story about war and the girl in front of me slowly opened her laptop and liked Downy on Facebook."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That is a trick question, feminists can't change anything."

"""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."" -FDR ""Exactly."" -everyone with anxiety"