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Joke of the Day

"I went to a support group for premature ejaculation yesterday. I wasn't sure what to wear, so I came in my pants."

"A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer."

"How do you make a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven at ~~three fifty~~ tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened."

"What's green and german? Snotzis."

"[answers phone in crowded elevator] give me some good news...HOW contagious?"

"My ex-girlfriend said that she misses me all time She also said that she's taking lessons to improve her aim."

"Me: Did you hear that? Her: Go check it out Me: Are You Crazy? They always kill the good looking people first Her: You'll be alright"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aitch ! Aitch who ? Bless You !"

"What did the lawyer say to the sovereign citizen when asked for legal counsel? **Am I being retained?** **Am I being retained?**"

"The best joke of them all You."