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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven at ~~three fifty~~ tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened."

"Q. Why did the jellybean go to school? A. Because he wanted to be a smarty"

"My boss is currently shopping for quarter million dollar homes. Meanwhile, I'm over here deciding if I really need to spend $2 on lunch."

"Please don't ask me what something means or who someone is from your device which has access to the internet."

"Why is a giraffes neck so long? Because its head it so far away from its body"

"you think YOU'RE tired. I'm even MORE tired for the reasons I'm about to list. This is a competition for some reason."

"They say a woman's work is never done. That's probably why they get paid less."

"When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts."

"There was this ancient pagan ritual where they would hit the ground with sticks and shout out. Today we call it golf."

"""I may be fat, but you're ugly I can lose weight!"""