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Joke of the Day

"Me: Did you hear that? Her: Go check it out Me: Are You Crazy? They always kill the good looking people first Her: You'll be alright"

"Why did Mr. T reject Socialism? Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: ""All you have to lose is your chains."""

"I always wear a helmet during intercourse cause I'm a firm believer in safe sex. Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray."

"My new thesaurus is terrible in fact I'd go as far to say that it's terrible"

"I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day. It was a shock to the cistern."

"What sound does a baby make when you put it in a microwave? I don't know....I was too busy masterbating."

"I truly believe that there are some people who listen to you when you talk and there's other people who just wait for it to be their turn."

"Seahawks on the Super Bowl Hey, so are you guys wanting to win the Super Bowl? Nah, we'll pass."

"Narcolepsy is the sluttiest neurological disorder."

"Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: They've been having turkey for years."