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Joke of the Day

"I was walking down the street earlier and saw two kids fighting As an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance."

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than three because the basement is still dark! *(Just heard this today, even though I know it's probably old!)*"

"How do you know if hippies have been in your house? They are still there."

"Which sex position produces the most ugly babies? Ask yo momma. Sorry"

"Shaking hands is so weird: ""Nice to meet you, have some germs and dead skin cells."""

"Coffee is so addicted to me, it can't wait to get in my belly. In its defense, my belly is awesome."

"What has been in the news specifically because it comes in small boxes? Jared's penis"

"What's white and can't climb trees? A refrigerator"

"Can you eat me out? What are you doing?! I just wanted some of your pot brownie."

"The NSA hired Sarah Palin so she could keep an eye on Edward Snowden"