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Joke of the Day

"My kids lost a Barbie shoe. I dug in the trash and found one. It was from a set they didn't know was missing Now I'm looking for 2 shoes."

"I think a duck's opinion of me, is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread!"

"Old man Johnson and his world-champion pole vaulting neighbor are really one in the same... They both grip their sticks and try to get it up."

"Today I witnessed an amputee being hanged. I tried to save him, but yelled out all the wrong letters. (H/T Demetri Martin)"

"Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

"An old gambling buddy told me this joke: What did the man with premature ejaculation say to his blind wife? ""Honey, could you pass me the remote?"" Bet you didn't see THAT coming!"

"Dbz joke Yamaha won"

"Not all astrophysicists are bad. I'm sure at least one of them's a really Feynman."

"I met my SO while working for a German newspaper It was love at first Zeit"

"What's the best way to lose some pounds? Leave the EU."