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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because he won't born yesterday."
Next Joke
"What did I do before Twitter? Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY?!?!"
"[dog social media] Post: *picture of a cat falling out of a tree* caption - ""woof, woof, woof."" Dog reading: hahahahahaha. *retwoofs*"
"What did the chicken say before laying an egg? Yahoo. There goes my baby."
"Question: What goes up and never comes down? Answer: Up"
"Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men."
"So I listened to some LL Cool J then kept licking my lips like he does. I found myself in HR. Good thing I wasn't listening to KISS."
"Why was the tallest man in the world troubled? Because he had no one to look up to."
"Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris."
"I'm afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating."