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Joke of the Day

"[dog social media] Post: *picture of a cat falling out of a tree* caption - ""woof, woof, woof."" Dog reading: hahahahahaha. *retwoofs*"

"What does a pedophile and a turtle have in common? They both wanna get there before the hare does."

"Do you know that percussionist in the band? Yeah, he rings a bell."

"David Bowie = Died at 69 Alan Rickman = Died at 69 Donald Trump = is 69 I think we all understand where this is heading"

"What do you call an orgy with five black people? A threeway"

"Why would they add ""twerk"" to the dictionary? People that would use said word can't read."

"What did the mushroom say to the chef? Don't eat me! I'm a fun guy!"

"Well, it's Inauguration Day in America.... It's gonna be a great mourning."

"What's Paul Walker's favorite drink? Fireball"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the parking lot."