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Joke of the Day

"[dog social media] Post: *picture of a cat falling out of a tree* caption - ""woof, woof, woof."" Dog reading: hahahahahaha. *retwoofs*"

"What do you call a person with a Simpsons fetish? Homer-sexual"

"Riddle me this Which does not belong: * Nipple clamps * Soy * Vibrator Answer: The nipple clamps, the other two are meat substitutes."

"Splinter: Leo. Mikey: I'm Michelangelo. That's Leo. Donny: I'm Donatello. That's Leo. Leo: I thought I was Raphael. - Why they wear masks"

"Someone asked me to stop singing wonderwall I said maybe"

"What is the oldest joke in the book? The first one written"

"I have a really funny dick Girls laugh every time they see it."

"I have been feeling down on my karma lately.. so I bought a horse and named her Karma. Upvotes for me and Karma-horse."

"""Now officer, hear me out: alcohol is a depressant and cocaine is a stimulant. Therefore, mixed in equal parts, I'm basically sober!"""

"What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use? Uniball."