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Joke of the Day
"Fun Fact: A burrito will never sleep with your best friend behind your back."
Next Joke
"Where do guys go when they want to get their penis sized and fitted? The Cocktailor."
"Doctor: Sir, I have two bad news for you The first is that you have 48 hours before you die -And the second one? :'( I should have told you yesterday"
"COWORKER: Wanna come to my NYE party?! ME: Aww... I would, but I already have plans. MORGAN FREEMAN: He did not have plans."
"What do you call allergy season without any Kleenexes? A tissue"
"What does Kim Jong Un do when he's angry? [removed]"
"How do you make a duck sing? Put it in the oven till it's Bill Withers."
"I got a papercut writing my suicide note. It's a start. -Steven Wright"
"I never made the Dean's List but I find it disturbing the Dean keeps a list of teenagers he likes."
"I can't wait to find out who's playing Donald Trump in the next season of American Horror Story"