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Joke of the Day

"If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at."

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"""How about... we change the 6 to a 7?"" ""I love it!"" --board meeting at the company that makes novelty sunglasses for New Year's Eve"
"What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say? I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight."
"Why didn't Hitler participate in the marathon? ... Because he can't finish a race."
"Knock Knock Who's there? The Pilot. Let me in."
"They say dog is a man's best friend and diamonds are a girl's best friend but My best friends are cows because steak and handbags."
"Where do ghoulies go to on the day before Halloween party? To the boo-ty parlour."
"Beeped my horn at this cute guy who walked by. He shot me a dirty look. He's playing hard to get, but I've started planning the wedding!"
"What if there was a Christian version of ISIS called CHRISIS?!"
"2 Hebrews a black dude and a Mexican walk into a bar. Bar tender says get f#%k outa here."