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Joke of the Day

"""I can't believe after all this shit that they're still together..."" ""Who?"" Said a curious bastard. ""My buttcheeks."""

"What's a zombies favorite exercise? Deadlifts"

"What kind of pants does Mario wear? (Super Mario Brothers) *""Denim Denim Denim""*"

"Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean."

"You know you're on Twitter too much when you start learning the news from the jokes."

"After 8 years Americans prove the rumor to be false. They went black and now they are going back."

"No body What do you call a man with no body and a nose? Nobody knows!"

"Wife: ""Bad day?"" Me: ""Stupidhead boss treats me like a kid."" Wife: ""Now now *pats head* eat your nuggets before they get cold."""

"If you're unattractive, nobody wants to know that you're horny."

"Two FBI agents search an office and find a hard drive with ""KGB"" on it... One of the agents asks the other, ""Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"""